RAW this week stats with music and pyro.
Jeff Hardy comes out to the ring. JR talks about how Jeff beat MVP in an impromptu match at JD last night. Umaga comes out to face Jeff.
Huge “Hardy” chants but they stop when Jeff gets beaten down. A sunset flip and Jeff can’t bring Umaga over, but moves before Umaga sits down on him hard. Jeff covers for two. Big Samoan drop to Jeff followed by a nerve pinch. Jeff gets to his feet, punches out but gets hit with an upper cut and gets dropped. Umaga sets Jeff up up-side-down in a corner. A flying head butt to Jeff. Umaga pulls Jeff down and leaves him prone in the ring while he climbs. Umaga flies, but Jeff moves. Jeff climbs and flies, but Umaga moves. Umaga drags Jeff to a sitting position in a corner. Jeff moves before the bum slam. Jeff comes back with punches but gets pushed down. Jeff comes back with a mule kick that sends Umaga from the ring. Jeff flies out onto Umaga. They’re both down outside and the count starts. Both get up and Jeff sides steps Umaga who slams into the stairs. Jeff runs the barrier but Umaga comes back with a huge sidewalk slam, but the ref calls for a double count out.
Jeff is down outside with trainers looking over him try to get him to wake up.
Out back Y2J is talking to Batista. Batista is threatening Y2J. Y2J doesn’t take it well and threatens Batista. They wish each other luck, but don’t turn their backs on each other.
The lights are out. When they come up it’s Regal in the ring. He sets up for ONS. Jeff will face Umaga there. Orton and JBL are on the tron. Regal speaks to them about who they want to face. Tonight they will team up and face HHH and Cena. If they win they will get their rematches at ONS and they can pick their types of matches. But if Cena and HHH win they will face each other and Regal will pick the match.
Kennedy’s music cuts off any further talk from Regal. He comes out to the ring and gets in Regal’s face. Regal wants to know how many times they will have to do this. There’s always consequences.
Kennedy says he knows, but wants to face Regal in the ring.
Regal says Kennedy’s not his equal. The next person to interrupt him will be fired on the spot because he’s his superior.
Vince’s music cut’s Regal off. Vince comes out looking slightly annoyed.
Kennedy tell Vince he shouldn’t have done that. Kennedy tells Regal to fire him.
Vince says he had given Regal his endorsement, but due to the huge amount of viewer complaints, more than ever in history. Not that Regal cares what they think about him, as Vince doesn’t care. But he does care about the money.
Regal says sometimes you have to take ½ a step back to step forward.
Yes, but it’s about ratings. The ratings go down when Regal’s on the TV and go down further the longer he’s on the air. But Regal wants Kennedy gone, as does Vince. Vince doesn’t like him, but the fans want Regal gone. Tonight it will be Regal against Kennedy. The loser will be gone! FIRED! Vince leaves the ring. Kennedy and Regal glare at each other.
WWE Slam Of The Week – Beth hitting a double back breaker on Mickie and Melina last night!
Melina comes out to the ring in a tie dye strapless top and tiny black mini. She does her split on the announce table. King is about to fall apart. She joins them at the table. Beth comes out to the ring in a blue halter jump suit. Beth glares at Melina as she gets in the ring. Maria comes out in blue pants, a matching bikini top over a black bra and black boots.
Maria attacks from behind but is slammed down. Maria is slammed into a corner and sits up top. Beth picks her up and slams her. Beth covers for two. Maria fights back. Back breaker to Maria. She stretches Maria over her knee. Maria gets out but is backed into a corner. She reverses it and hits a bulldog for two. Again Maria covers for two. Beth slams Maria down, but she comes back. Beth slams Maria down face first and then chicken wings her for the submission.
- Winner: Beth
Beth dump Maria to the floor before leaving the ring. Melina leaves the announce table and enters the ring. She takes off her boot and runs after Beth. She attacks from behind, but is then slammed over Beth’s head to the hard ramp.
Clips from Jimmy Kimmel with Piper and Santino. It reduced to a mess of a party at Hooters.
Katie Lea and Mickie are out back talking. Katie says Mickie is sleeping her way to the top with Cena. Mickie says they just had fun and he was a complete gentleman.
Regal, in his office, HBK comes in. He says he knows Regal is busy, but wants to wish him luck with Kennedy. HBK says he’ll get to sit back and watch tonight. Regal says HBK is going to be in a Stretcher Match at ONS with the winner of tonight’s Y2J and Batista match.
Video from the GI Film Festival and how WWE got an award there.
Y2J comes out to the ring. Batista comes out to face him.
Y2J attacks Batista and back him into a corner. Batista pushes him off and he rolls away. Batista back Y2J into a corner. Y2J fights out. They go back and forth. Batista telegraphs and gets kicked for it. Batista fights back and covers for two. Y2J gets whipped and clotheslined. Batista chokes Y2J with his foot in a corner. Y2J stumbles, and appears to hurt his knee. Batista smirks as Y2J limps around outside the ring. Obviously Batista doesn’t believe it due to what happened with HBK at Backlash.
Batista is slamming Y2J around in the ring. Batista has the upper hand and Y2J is limping. Y2J pulls the top rope low and sends Batista out over the top. Now Batista is holding his left knee. Batista re-enters the ring. Y2J works over Batista’s knee in a big way. Chop block and leg holds to Batista. Y2J’s leg now seems fine and JR comments on it. Y2J gets kicked from the ring by Batista. Batista, with his legs wrapped in the ropes kicks Y2J into the announce table. Back in the ring Batista gets a HARD boot to Y2J’s face. Y2J is down for a while holding his face. A spinebuster from Batista but Y2J comes back with a single leg Boston crab. Batista is slowly crawling to the ropes and manages to get there. Y2J has to break the hold. Springboard lionsault is missed when Batista moves. Batista gets Y2J up, but Y2J holds the ropes and gets out. Y2J flies but a clothesline catches him above the eye and they’re both down. Batista covers for two. Y2J flies at Batista who catches him and hits a Batista bomb for three.
- Winner: Batista
Video replay of key points of the match. HBK comes out to the stage to glare at Batista. Batista glares back from the ring then grins. (HBK looks sort of stoned tonight. Don’t take it as he is stoned – but that he looks heavy lidded.)
Regal is getting ready for his match. Vince comes in and tells him he needs to beat him. Ted DiBiase comes in. Regal gets tossed from his office.
Piper’s music starts and Santino comes out dressed (badly) as Piper with a pillow under his shirt and a bad wig. He says he’s Rodney The Piper. He says he’s been irritating people all over the world. He says he’s sick to death of Piper. He’s not happy about being disrespected. He shows the Kimmel video again. He’s glad we find it amusing. He talks about Cousin Sal. Since this is HIS Pit of The Piper and he has Cousin Sal. Sal comes out to the ring.
Santino calls him his merry little prankster. He says Sal idolized Piper growing up. He asks why. If it’s the fact that Piper never won, liked to cross dress or his horrible movies.
Sal says it’s Piper’s ability to back up his words. He is not the Tag Champ, did not beat Austin and didn’t sleep with Maria. He says he spoke with Maria and Santino is hung like a 4th grader.
Santino says 4th graders mature early these days. But, Sal is there to apologize to Santino. He has an ‘I’m sorry’ cake. If he doesn’t the cake will find it’s way to his face. Sal says he’s glad to see Santino spelled it right.
Santino picks up the cake to put in Sal’s face. Piper shows up behind Santino. Sal puts the cake in Santino’s face. Santino pitches a fit and somehow covers Lillian with cake too. Santino tells Sal, from outside the ring, that he will be facing him in the ring. Piper says Santino is on! Sal’s not too happy about this.
WWE Rewind – Cade and Murdoch beat Cryme Tyme Tyme but when Murdoch sung, Cade attacked him.
JR says Cade and Murdoch are finished as a tag team.
Lillian announces that the winner of this match will be fired. Kennedy comes out to the ring. His mic comes down and he says soon there will be no more Regal who’s about to lose his Royal jewels. Regal comes out to face him.
They lock up and Kennedy is backed into a corner. They come out, Regal is whipped then a back body drop and Regal is covered for two. Regal, looking dazed leaves the ring. He sweeps Kennedy’s legs from under him and slams him around outside. In the ring knee to Kennedy’s face. Regal covers for two. Kennedy gets backed into a corner. “Kennedy” chants. Regal covers for two. Regal locks on a chin/arm hold. Regal lets him out and toys with him, kicking him in the face and body, but then Kennedy comes back with a kick to the side of Regal’s head. Another kick to Regal’s head and Kennedy covers for two. Kennedy gets tossed from the ring. Regal goes outside too and grabs a mic. He makes it a No DQ Match. Regal grabs his brass knucks and goes after Kennedy. He kicks him in the side of the head, throws him into the stairs and then tossed him back in the ring. Regal still has the mic in one hand, knucks on the other. Kennedy gets up fast, kicks Regal and hits a mic check for three.
- Winner: Kennedy
Regal is writhing on the mat, jobless, looking like he’s in actual pain. He hasn’t looked well through the whole match. The fans are yelling at Regal who suddenly realizes what happened. They start singing ‘Goodbye’ to him. He grabs his knucks, tucks them in his tights and looks around. The “USA” chants start too. He glares around at the fans, nods and then leaves as they chant “Regal sucks.” He backs up the ramp, looking around at them all. He looks kind of out of it, a bit bobble headed.
Regal is pounding on his office door, trying to be let in. Teddy Long comes out and walks by with a grin. Regal looks shocked.
Grisham is out back with HHH. He asks about his tag match tonight. HHH says he and Cena aren’t friends, but JBL and Orton aren’t going out on lunch dates. HHH and Cena both won last night, so they’re odds on to win. There’s a lot changing on RAW, but the one constant is HHH.
Orton comes out to the ring. JBL comes out to tag with him.
Cena comes out to the ring. HHH comes out to tag with him.
Cena and Orton lock up. Cena gets backed into a corner. The ref backs them off. Cena comes back with a bulldog. Tag to HHH. Orton gets whipped but gets an elbow up to the side of HHH’s head. HHH hits a high knee and a cheap shot to JBL. Cena pulls down the top rope to help HHH and send Orton flying outside.
JBL covers HHH for two. JBL locks on a strange head lock. HHH manages to get to his feet but into the heel corner. Orton tags in and stomps HHH. HHH hold the ropes leaving Orton’s drop kick to fall flat. Cena tags in and takes Orton down a couple times. Cane calls for the five knuckle shuffle and hits it. HHH argues with the ref. Orton tries to an RKO but Cena pushes off he tries for the FU, but JBL enters behind the ref’s back and kicks Cena in the head. Orton covers for two. Orton and Cena slam heads together. Both are down for seven. Both tag out.
Bit clothesline for HHH. Face buster to JBL. HHH covers for two. Spinebuster to HHH. Orton rushes in and HHH sends him outside. Cena and JBL tag in. Cena locks on the STFU. The ref is distracted by HHH and Orton. Orton boots Cena in the head and JBL covers for three. JBL hits a clothesline on HHH and Orton attacks HHH. Orton hits an RKO on HHH.
- Winner: JBL & Orton
JBL grabs a mic and says he’ll face Cena in a First Blood Match. Orton grabs the mic and says he’ll be taking back his title the way he won it in the first place, in a Last Man Standing Match.