RAW this week starts with Y2J out back with Adamle. Y2J is mad because he was in charge last week. He’s also mad that there’s a special guest ref for CS. Adamle tells Y2J that he’s in charge and Y2J has to deal with that. Tonight Y2J wrestles and Batista is picking his opponent. Also, Batista is wrestling and Y2J is picking his opponent. Y2J says he’s going over Adamle’s head and call Shane and Steph. Adamle laughs and says they shut off their phones during the show. Y2J says he’ll get their attention and walks off. He walks by Candy, Mickie and Jamie Noble. The girls are both texting and Y2J comments on it.
Y2J enters the ring and addresses Shane and Steph. He talks about the guest ref stipulation for CS. He bitches that all of them are biased against him and exactly how each are biased. He says it’s unfair and needs to change. He begs them to overrule Adamle’s stipulations as soon as possible. He’s against the fans picking everything for this match (I seem to remember it was Y2J who – in storyline – came up with the idea for Taboo Tuesday, the predecessor to Cyber Sunday).
HBK comes out to the ring moving rather slowly and limping a bit. HBK says nothing would thrill him more than to go out there and tell him that if he’s voted in as guest ref for CS that he’d put all their differences aside for CS. He’s like to say it’s better if Y2J wins so he can challenge Y2J and beat him for the title. He’d like to be able to say that, but he can’t. If he’s voted in as guest ref he’s going to do everything in his power to make it the worst day of his life. He’s not a politician and will not campaign, but he will do what Obama and McCain would love to do to each other… HBK attacks Y2J. HBK takes Y2J down and beats on him until Y2J can get away. Y2J gets out of the ring holding his nose or mouth.
HBK’s music plays but then stops when Y2J grabs a mic and says Batista will be facing HBK tonight.
WWE Rewind – Video of Matt and Rey against Kane and Henry last week. Kane got the pin on Hardy for the win.
Rey comes out to the ring wearing his new over-mask that he gives to a kid on the way to the ring. He’s also wearing the half mask that is open in the back again (wonder why the change after all these years). Matt Hardy comes out to join him. Rey and Matt shake hands as soon as Matt enters. Henry is next out with Tony Atlas in tow. He looks crankier than usual and does not wait for his partner before entering the ring. Kane comes out. They show Johnny Knoxville in the front row!
Hardy ducks a clothesline and hits a bunch of his own shots. Scoop slam to Hardy who rolls out of the way of an elbow drop. Hardy comes off the middle of the corner with an elbow to the back of Henry’s head. Hardy comes for two. Kane distracts Hardy long enough that Henry gains control. Kane tags in and works Henry over quite a bit. Henry tags back in and slams Hardy to the mat. Chinlock on Hardy in the center of the ring. Henry kicks Hardy in the back. Hardy fights out but runs into a big boot. Kane tags in and covers for two. Headlock on Hardy in the center of the ring. “We want Rey!” chants. Hardy gets whipped but gets a foot up, but a big right takes Hardy down when he leaves the corner. Hardy counters a Kane moves and hits a DDT. Rey manages the tag and flies in over the top to take Kane down. Rey bounces all over the ring slamming Kane round. Rey gets a pin but is then distracted by Henry and loses control. Rey manages to hit a 619. Outside Hardy and Henry brawl. Hardy jumps on Henry and gets caught in midair. Henry holds Hardy and Rey flies out taking them both down. Rey climbs and flies but a big boot drops Rey for the three.
- Winners: Mark Henry & Kane
After the match the fighting between Rey and Kane continues but Rey comes out on top leaving Kane backing up the ramp holding his face.
Grisham asks Batista out back about facing HBK. He says he respects HBK as a competitor, but if he tries to take him out Batista will beat him to the punch.
JBL’s music and he comes out part way in his limo. The driver parks too close to the fans and JBL berates him over it. Nancy O’Dell (access Hollywood) is in the front row. JBL gets huge heat. He says everywhere he goes the subject is about the economy. People ask him if banks are going to fold, what about my 401K and will I lose my home? Well, this bail out is guaranteeing that JBL is keeping all his money. Congress knows the poor will always be there but the rich need to be taken care of. JBL calls himself a ‘real American’ and Hogan’s music starts. Of course it’s not Hogan, but we know who it is! Haas Hogan! He looks so goofy because of his size, but he’s doing a great job moving like Hogan and showing off for the fans. His fake belt says Haasamania JBL looks truly confused, more than his normal character confusion.
JBL quickly gains control over HH, but then he “Hass’ up” and takes JBL down. A clothesline from hell drops HH and JBL gets the three.
- Winner: JBL
Chris Pontius and Johnny Knoxville are being interviewed by Grisham out at their seats. They say they want to make friends with Khali. They show pictures of graffiti that says, “Khali has a small weee wee” and other disparaging things from their site. They say that their having fun but want to see midgets. They didn’t bring their midget so they want to see WWE’s midgets.
A video about Cena with HHH, Edge, Batista, JBL, Jeff Hardy, JR, Mickie, Maria all talk about him in a positive way.
Orton comes out to the stage with mic in hand. He says he finds it kind of funny that no one had any kind words to say about him when he got hurt. He broke his collar bone and finished his match against HHH. Guess he’s no Cena, thank God. As far as CS goes, don’t vote for him. He doesn’t need to be put in jeopardy so close to his return. Vote for HBK or Austin or do not vote at all. Than he’ll be back and we won’t have any say over what he does.
Batista is out back heading for the ring.
Batista comes out to the ring. HBK comes out to face him. His slow walk and slight limp seem to have gone the way of the dodo suddenly. Y2J shows up on the tron and tells them it’s now a Lumberjack Match. All heels come out to the ring.
Chain wrestling between the two. HBK slid from the ring but was quickly tossed back in. HBK locked a figure four on Batista. Y2J out back is yelling at the screen while watching the match. Batista tries to roll HBK and manages it. HBK releases the hold. Batista holds his knee as HBK gets to his feet. Huge rights to HBK. Batista telegraphs and HBK hits a swinging neck breaker. HBK chops Batista in a corner. Batista reverses a whip and clotheslines HBK in a corner. Elbows to HBK in a corner. HBK is whipped and lands across the corner. Batista kicks him in the gut. Power slam by Batista for two. “HBK” chants. Batista locks an arm/neck hold and leg scissors on HBK. HBK elbows his way out of the hold. HBK throws forearms to a prone Batista. Batista hit a very high back body drop on HBK. Batista covers but HBK kicks out at two. Batista again locks on the full body hold in the center of the ring. He lets go of the top but keeps on the body scissors. HBK struggles for the ropes and makes it. Batista stomps HBK. Batista tosses HBK into the ropes, when he ricocheted back Batista hit a forearm to HBK’s upper back. Batista whips HBK and forearms him in the face when he comes out of the corner. HBK gets whipped but manages to come back at Batista and dropped him. HBK covers for two. Huge clothesline to HBK for two. Batista telegraphs and gets a knee to the face. Batista tries to toss HBK from the ring but HBK skinned the cat. Batista hit a tilt-a-whirl side slam for two. Batista clotheslines HBK from the ring. Henry pushes someone out of the way and grabs HBK in a bear hug. Henry tosses HBK back in the ring. Batista covers for two (this is a long match).
Batista has a bear hug locked in on HBK. HBK gets whipped and does the Flair flip. Batista gets tossed form the ring very hard. Batista is on his knees and Orton winds up, runs and tries to kick his head off. Batista moves at the last moment. JBL attacks Batista before he reenters the ring. HBK climbs. Regal distracts the ref and JBL pushes HBK from up top. Both are down for nine. Spinebuster from Batista. Batista sets up for the Batista bomb but HBK punches the heck out of Batista when he’s up and they both fall from the ring over the top. The lumberjack beat the hell out of them both. Jacks end up in the ring and the ref calls for the bell.
- Winner: No Contest
JBL is behind Batista setting him up for a move, HBK hit sweet chin music on JBL to save Batista. Henry comes at HBK and Batista spears Henry to save HBK. Y2J is out back watching and is totally pissed. After all is said and done Batista and HBK shake in the center of the ring. Batista offered and HBK slowly accepted.
Santino comes out with Beth in tow. He makes her flex her muscles on the stage before they come down. Santino calls for the Honk-A-Meter. Santino has been IC Champ for 9 weeks. In one year he’ll only be a few weeks off from Honky Tonk Man’s record. If you text the racist term ‘Honky’ he’ll face the Honky Tonk Man. Or the fans can picks from one of two cross dressers – The Golden Dust and his friend Rodney The Piper. Speaking of perverted look who’s with us, Johnny Knoxville. He has a question for Knoxville and wants him in the ring. Santino says something about wanting Knoxville to put mustard in his privates. Santino says he went to the website and what was he thinking about making fun of Khali. Knoxville said that people must ask them about that all the time. He was referring to both Santino and Beth. Beth bitch slapped Johnny and then hit a huge scoop slam on him. Santino and Beth left as Hornswoggle climbed. He hit a tadpole splash. Pontius comes in to help Knoxville but Big Dick Johnson comes out in his track suit. In the ring he strips and dances. Pontius does the same and they dance around the ring together. The lights go down and the noise gets odd. Big Dick runs for it and Boogeyman shows up from under the ring. A clothesline to Pontius and Boogeyman worms Pontius. Knoxville crawls across the ring and grabs water from a guy ringside. He says it wasn’t that bad. He talks about his site and says it was alright, but then Khali’s music plays. Knoxville laughs at Khali until Khali locks on the vice grip and hits the Khali bomb. Knoxville is left prone in the ring with Khali and Sing standing over him. Refs surround Knoxville in the ring trying to get some response from him.
Out back is Cryme Tyme and Kelly. They’re walking along and they find a hockey bag. JTG pulls out a Mighty Ducks goalie mask. Shad says he didn’t know JTG liked hockey. He says he doesn’t, but he likes ice. He puts the mask on facing at an angle to the back.
Video of Kelly and Jillian in the ring last week while Cryme Tyme and M&M argued at the announce table.
M&M are in the ring with Jillian. Morrison says they’re better than Cryme Tyme and have proved it but now they’re going to prove they’re more gangsta than them. They rap and Jillian throws some horrible singing into it until she won’t stop and Cryme Tyme’s music cuts her off. They come out with Kelly in shiny red pants and bikini type top. Jillian is in black pants and a turquoise halter top.
Kelly and Jillian start. Kelly climbs, bounces off the top rope and sends Jillian flying. Head scissors to Jillian who rushes over to tag out. Miz and JTG tag in. Reverse snap mare to Miz while Jillian screams ringside like an idiot! Morrison gets a blind tag and takes JTG down when he wasn’t expecting it from the apron. Morrison then covers for two. Chinlock on JTG. JTG gets to his feet and elbows out. A big right to Morrison and Shad is able to tag in. Shad gets Morrison high with one hand. Shad covers but Jillian and Miz run in to break it up. While the ref tries to get Miz out of the ring JTG uses the hockey mask and hits Morrison in the upper back. Shad hits his finisher and covers for three.
- Winners: Cryme Tyme & Kelly
They celebrate in the ring together, JTG wearing the hockey mask at an angle.
Video of Big Show beating down Taker at No Mercy. They announce they have a match at CS.
King and Cole go through the rest of the matches slated for Cyber Sunday.
Video of HBK and Batista’s match and what happened after it ended.
Y2J’s music and he comes out to the ring for his match.
CM Punk comes out to face Y2J. This is who Batista picked to face Y2J. Batista is on the tron with a towel around his neck. He tells them that this match now has a special guest ref. He removes the towel and he’s wearing a zebra shirt! Y2J is in the ring seething while Batista’s music plays. The sleeves on Batista’s shirt are ripped on the bottoms and the shirt is ripped up the back and the sides – doesn’t fit very well! He’s wearing his wrestling trunks with the ref shirt.
Punk quickly rolls Y2J up for two. A couple quick arm drags to Y2J and then Y2J rolls from the ring. Y2J walks up the ramp. Batista goes out after him and tosses him back in the ring. Punk reverses the whip and locks Y2J in the corner. Punk has the ropes and is using them to hold Y2J tight. Batista didn’t make him break it. Punk climbed and flew in a cross body for two. A kick to Y2J’s chin and he drops like a rock! Back drop to Y2J. Punk climbs to the second ropes but Y2J rips one foot out from under him to slam him down to the mat. Y2J bad mouths Batista and starts getting backed into a corner. Y2J hits a back suplex for one as Batista slowly counted. Punk hit a backslide for two. Y2J gets in Batista’s face over the slow counting. Y2J locks an arm/head lock on Punk. Huge “CM Punk” chants. Y2J goes for a bulldog but Punk counters and Y2J got tossed in a sitting position onto the second ropes in a corner. Y2J sets up for the walls but Punk reverses and rolls him up for two. Big knee and bulldog from Punk. Punk sets him up for the GTS but he gets out. Y2J hits the code breaker. Batista starts counting but after two he “gets something in his eye” and stops. Y2J yells at him and Batista hits a Batista bomb on Y2J. Punk rolls Y2J over and pins. Batista counts the three.
- Winner: Punk
Batista leaves the ring grinning. Batista gets to the stage and turns around with a huge smile on his face. Video of Batista “getting dust in his eye” then hitting the Batista bomb on Y2J.