RAW this week starts with Lilian announcing Vince. He comes strutting out in an ugly light/medium blue blazer. He said if Trump was there he’d put on a commercial free RAW. And if Trump was there he’d give everyone their money back. He wonders if they would like him to do the same. The fan like that idea. He says he can’t do commercial free but he can give their money back, but he won’t. Trump put together a 15 man trade that he has to live with. Also there’s a weekly guest host with the authority of a manager. That person has the power of a GM. He’s going to shake things up VKM style. The host is The Animal Batista. (Someone in the crowd has a sign that says “My husband puts up with my WWE obsession”. I love this as I live it.) Batista to the ring, his left arm in a serious brace over his beautifully cut grey suit. “Batista” chants. He says it feels good and he’s excited. Going to have fun tonight. A Four Man NOC Tournament, the four men are Miz versus Cena, MVP versus HHH. Some fun! Funny thing is that when Vince asked him to do this he said no way. No way was he getting back in a suit. He’s a fighter, not a guest host! Orton’s music and out he comes, sans title in hand but Legacy in tow. On the stage Orton tells Batista he shouldn’t have come back. He asks if Batista is a glutton for punishment? What’s stopping the three of them from going down there and tearing him apart. Nothing except if they look at him the wrong way he’ll fire them. He didn’t want to come back until Vince told him he’d have unlimited power. He can do anything he wants. He can make their lives a living nightmare. Orton says his life is already a nightmare. He barely survived last night. He got hit in the head with a sledge and can barely walk. Batista puts on a great cry baby face and whines mimicking Orton. He said he’s not there to hear him whine. He’s not going to make him defend his title. What he does have to worry about is the trade Trump made before he was fired. Trump acquired five wrestlers, but Orton only has to face three of them in a Gauntlet Match. Orton and Legacy argue on stage while Batista drops his mic, smiles and poses in the ring for the fans.
King and Cole talk about how great Batista is tonight and the matches he made.
WWE Rewind – Stills from The Three Stages Of Hell Match from The Bash last night. HHH was about to win but Legacy attacked. HHH used his sledge, but Orton won. After the match HHH hit Orton in the head with the sledge.
Lilian announces the first of the NOC Tournament Matches. HHH out to the ring. MVP out to face him.
They lock up. Side headlock on MVP and he pushes HHH off. HHH holds his thigh. MVP pushes HHH back and gets hit in the head. MVP backs HHH into a corner. HHH throws punches but can’t gain control. MVP keeps going after HHH’s thigh and takes HHH down. MVP slams on that leg and works it over. A chop block to HHH after HHH can’t get a move off. Figure four locked onto HHH. HHH’s shoulders down for two. HHH tried to get out but ends up shoulders down for another two. HHH finally out but HHH can’t get to his feet. MVP tries twice to lock on the hold again but is kicked off. HHH tries for a pedigree, but MVP grabs that leg. MVP hits ballin’ for two. HHH has to use the corner to get to his feet. HHH tries for the pedigree but ends up in a back body drop. A foot to HHH’s head and MVP gets two. MVP pulls HHH to his feet but the playmaker is countered. HHH hits the pedigree and gets the three.
- Winner: HHH
HHH standing in a corner, barely on his feet and pants. Video of the end of the match. HHH poses in the ring and gets the fans pumped up.
WWE Slam Of The Week – Video of Teddy Long saying last night that the Unified Tag Team Titles would be a Three Way Match. Stills of the end of the match where Carlito hit his back cracker but Edge got the three.
Jericho out to the ring with one belt around his waist and the other over his shoulder. Edge comes out the same way to join him. Jericho says despite his vow to never appear on RAW again, because of his talents he finds himself in front of the cretins that make up the RAW audience. The only reason he’s still here… Edge says the only reason he’s still there is because Edge approached him and they couldn’t get it done separately and are going to rule WWE. The can appear on any show as the Tag Champions. That makes them different from all the fans. The stepped up and did something. They’re winners where the fans are all losers. Carlito and Primo come out to cut off Edge and Jericho and fight for the titles.
Primo and Jericho start off. Side headlock on Jericho but after the push off Primo is slammed to the mat with a shoulder block. Jericho raises Primo up but is dropkicked to the mat. Cheap shot to Edge’s head then a kick to his shins drop him to the floor. Jericho rushes Primo who pulls down the ropes and sends Jericho flying over the top onto Edge. Double baseball slide from Primo and Carlito onto Edge and Jericho.
Jericho has a head/arm lock on Primo in the center of the ring. During the break they took Primo down hard to gain control. JR called them Edge and Christian before correcting himself. Jericho covers for two. Edge tags in and kicks Primo in the gut. Primo bounced face first off the corner. Primo is whipped and hits the mat. Edge covers for two. Jericho tags in and slaps Primo to the back of the head a couple of times taunting him. Knee to Primo’s mouth. Jericho tries for a running bulldog but Primo pushes him off. Jericho hits a corner. Primo manages to tag out. Carlito works over Jericho with clotheslines and then a neckbreaker for two. Jericho takes Carlito down but Carlito comes back with a springboard flip onto Jericho for a long two. Jericho tries for the walls. Carlito flies off and hits Edge in the process. Carlito takes Jericho down for another long two. Edge tags in and tries to spear Carlito in a corner but he moves. Carlito hits his back cracker but it takes a moment for the ref to get there as he’s admonishing Jericho. Jericho in as is Primo. Dropkick to Jericho from Primo and then Primo takes Jericho out of the ring as well as himself. Knee lift to Edge’s face. Carlito goes for a springboard but Primo was pushed into the same ropes by Jericho, so Carlito fell. Spear to Carlito for three.
- Winners: Edge & Jericho
Video of the key moments of the match, including the ending. Carlito and Primo talk in the ring while Edge and Jericho are gone. They, Primo and Carlito, seem to slightly argue, but nothing bad. Nothing detrimental to their team.
Orton is screaming to Legacy about what Batista is doing to him tonight. Batista comes in and says if Legacy gets involved in the Gauntlet Match they will be fired on the spot. Batista tells them to have a nice night and leaves while they all seethe.
King and Cole talk about how great Batista is. They then go on to talk about how great it will be to see Cena face the Miz tonight. A long video of the feud between Cena and Miz culminating in last night’s match at The Bash.
Cena out back heading for the ring.
Lilian announces the second NOC Tournament Match. Cena is first to the ring. Knee to Cena’s gut and then punches to Cena’s face. Huge back elbow to Miz. Scoop slam to Miz and another back elbow for two. Miz is whipped but gets a foot up into Cena’s face. Miz then stomps Cena on the mat. Big back body drop to Miz and then a fisherman’s suplex on Miz for two. Headlock on Miz. I can hear a couple guys chanting “Cena sucks” in the crowd. Cena backed into a corner and a cheap shot to Cena on the break. Suplex to Cena for two. “Cena” chants from mostly women and children. Knee to Cena’s gut and punches to his face while he’s on his knees. Neckbreaker on Cena for two. Boos from men when Cena kicks out. Shoulders to Cena’s gut in a corner. Cena falls to the mat. Another punch to Cena’s face and then Cena reverses a whip. Miz then flies over the top hanging Cena up on the top rope. Swinging neckbreaker to Cena for two. Knees to Cena’s gut in a corner. Punches to Cena and the ref has to physically pull Miz out of the corner and away from Cena.
Chokehold on Cena in the center of the ring. Cena forces his way out of the hold and sends Miz flying. Cena sends Cena into a corner chest first. Miz takes Cena down with a huge clothesline for another two. Punches to Cena in a corner and then Miz chokes Cena with a foot. Miz runs at Cena and hits a clothesline and ends up sitting on the second rope. Cena and Miz up top. Cena starts to gain control but then gets under Cena and drops him back. Miz gets two, twice. Forearms to the back of Cena’s head. Knees to the back of Cena’s head. Kick to Cena’s head and Miz pins for two. Miz talks smack but then Cena hits a drop toe hold. Miz locks on a sleeper. Miz up on Cena’s back with the hold locked on. Cena down to the mat but still staying awake. Cena then works his way to his feet and slams Miz into a corner. Cena ducks a clothesline and Super Cena is back. shoulder block drops Miz and Cena is in control again. The female fans and kids go wild. Five knuckle shuffle. Snap mare to Miz. Cena goes out to the top and drop a leg to the back of Miz’s neck. STF locked in and Miz taps out.
- Winner: Cena
Cena salutes in the ring and the ref raises his hand. Cena leaves Miz in a heap on the mat. This means Cena will face HHH next week for the opportunity to face Orton at NOC.
Cody tells Orton he’s the WWE Champion for a reason and to stay tough. Orton tells him to shut up. Cody asks who Ted was talking to. Ted says his father will be guest host next week. Orton wants to know how that helps him this week and stomps out.
King and Cole talk about NOC and that they will find out who Maryse will face through this match.
Kelly comes out to the ring in a blue two piece outfit. King called Cole JR when talking about Kelly, but then corrects himself. Mickie comes out in gun metal grey. Maryse comes out in a black and grey dress. She goes to the announce table.
Beth and Rosa are also in the ring. The fighting starts. Beth takes Kelly down and Mickie takes Rosa down. Beth then takes down Mickie. Beth and Eve from the ring so Kelly and Mickie square off. Mickie gains control and scoops Kelly’s legs out from under her and pins for two. Kelly and Mickie double team Rosa with a dropkick. Beth gains control and pins Mickie for two. Rosa backs off from Beth rather than get involved when Beth had control over Mickie. Mickie gets a back headlock on Beth. Rosa gets a reverse chinlock onto Mickie. Kelly on Rosa’s back for a headlock. Beth slams them all into a corner. Back elbow to Mickie and then Kelly hits a sunset flip onto Beth for two. Mickie manages to roll Kelly up for two. Rosa gets a back slide on Mickie for two. Mickie in a corner double kicks Rosa away. Beth covers Rosa but Kelly breaks it up. Forearms to Beth from Kelly and Mickie helps. They take Beth down. Mickie takes Rosa down. Beth gets a double chicken wing on Kelly and slams her down. Mickie breaks the count. Mickie hits head scissors on Beth and sends her from the ring. Mickie hits a baseball slide to Beth’s feet to knock her from the apron. Rosa punches the heck out of Mickie in a corner, but then Mickie hits her huge DDT on Rosa for three.
- Winner: Mickie James
Maryse gets snotty at the announce table to Cole and King. Mickie on the apron and Maryse on her feet. Mickie talks smack and Maryse tells Mickie to stay away. Video of the end of the match when Mickie takes out Beth and finishes off Rosa for three. Mickie helps Kelly to her feet in the ring.
Big Show is out back heading for the ring.
Video about WWE SummerSlam Reading Jam. Trying to get kids to read. MVP speaks a bit about giving back to kids and reading.
Big Show comes out to the ring looking miffed at life. Kofi comes out to face him. Big Show just glares at Kofi.
Kicks to Big Show’s leg but then he runs into a Big Show clothesline. Big Show elbows the back of Kofi’s left arm to slam him down. Headbutt to that same upper arm. “Let’s go Kofi” chants. Big Show slams Kofi to the mat. Big Show scoop slams Kofi. Big Show goes to drop an elbow, but Kofi moves out of the way. Big dropkick to Big Show’s face – he made it that high easily. Kofi whipped into a corner, but he slides through the ropes and kicks Big Show in the head. Kofi off the corner takes Big Show down and then his double leg drop to Big Show for two. Big Show kicks out sending Kofi flying. Kofi jumps up to land on Big Show’s chest area, but Big Show dumps him out to the floor. Big Show stalks Kofi outside the ring. The ref counts. Big Show gets Kofi up but Kofi somehow slams Big Show into the ringpost at about eight. Kofi can’t get back in the ring and it’s a double count out. Big Show is really mad and stomps away from the ring while Kofi sits on the mat in shock.
Orton to the ring by himself. He’s walking like he’s hurting, actually selling his injuries from last night. Orton looks defeated already. Lilian announces his first opponent as Evan Bourne. He comes out to face Orton.
Orton kicks Evan in the gut. Evan takes Orton down. Evan to the apron but Orton tries to suplex him in. Evan lands on his feet and rolls Orton up for two. Evan runs at Orton in a corner and eats a back elbow but then kicks Orton and gets two. Orton takes Evan down for two. Orton stomps Evan in the gut hard a couple times and then limps away for a moment holding himself up with the ropes. Evan trips Orton and hits a standing moonsault for two. Drop toe hold to Orton. Kick to Orton’s head and Evan covers again for two. Evan into a corner and gets his feet up into Orton’s face. Evan off a corner takes Orton down hard. Evan climbs but Orton slams into the top rope dropping Evan to the mat. RKO to Evan off the corner for three.
- Winner: Orton
Jack Swagger is next out to face Orton and is the newest member of RAW. Jack stops and does push-ups on the ramp to show off. Jack Swagger watches Orton closely as he gets in the ring.
Jack gets Orton up on his shoulder and slams him to the mat. Jack stands over Orton and smiles. Orton has to hold the ropes to get up. Jack to the apron and he smiles as the ref starts to count him out. He just stands on the apron smiling with his arms crossed. Jack just looks at Orton as he’s counted out and loses the match.
- Winner: Orton
Jack grabs a mic and gets in the ring. Orton looks confused. Jack says he’s always liked and respected Orton. On his first night on RAW he wanted to leave a lasting impression. Jack walks by Orton, drops the mic and leaves the ring. Jack up the ramp smiling the whole way.
Lilian announces the final opponent as Mark Henry. Henry comes stomping out to the ring and Orton looks sick to his stomach. Henry grabs a mic on his way in. He says he always liked Orton and has a lot of respect. He also came to RAW to make an impression and it’s going to be a good one. Orton looks relieved, a bit.
Henry grabs Orton and pushes him down hard! Henry then goes out to the apron and stands there. Orton looks very relieved. The ref starts counting Henry out. Henry stops the ref, smiles, shakes his head and comes back in the ring. Orton drops to his knees in front of Henry. Henry smiles and wraps his hands around Orton’s throat and throws him across the ring. Henry tosses Orton into a corner and splashes him. Henry whips Orton. Orton comes out and slaps Henry. Headbutt to Orton’s face. Orton tried for an RKO but ends up eating a worlds strongest slam. Henry covers for three.
- Winner: Mark Henry
Henry celebrates in the ring. Video of the high points and the end of the match.
Batista out on the stage smiling, gloating, staring at Orton.