RAW this week starts with video from last night’s PPV, Extreme Rules. Batista beat Orton in a Steel Cage Match.
Lilian announce the new WWE Champion, Batista. Batista comes out holding the strap in his right hand and barely moving his left. He moves the belt around some for his pyro, but his left arm looks stiff. He soaks in the pop from the fans. He has the giggles and I wonder if he’s on pain killers – Just my person wondering! He said he beat Orton last night and became five time Champion. He knows there’s a certain 16 time Champion that he did this for. He told Flair he loves him. He says he did it for all the fans in the arena and the ones at home. Most of all for those who hate Orton. But this is only the beginning. Orton’s hurt a lot of people and he’s going to hurt him back. He’s going to take his pride, his dignity… Orton’s music and he comes out to the stage seething, he’s more than angry! Slowly he stalks to the ring, looks almost like a zombie in his jerky movements and strange look on his face. Batista is poised and read for Orton as he slowly approaches the ring. Ted and Cody are suddenly behind Batista outside the ring. All three slide in and attack. Batista holds his own. He gets Orton up for a Batista bomb but Cody hits Batista in the back with a chair. They beat Batista down in a corner and then into the center of the ring. They go after Batista’s left arm specifically. They hold Batista down as Orton stomps his shoulder. Orton puts Batista’s arm in a chair. “Cena” chants. Orton stomps the chair as it’s on Batista’s lower arm. He stomps it over and over. It basically sides down to his wrist and is barely touching. Orton down in Batista’s face while Batista screams that he’ll get Orton and that Orton will never get rid of him. “You suck” chants. Orton wrenches back on that arm in a most disgusting way. Suddenly Orton wrenches Batista’s arm toward Batista’s back and they’re all acting like the arm is broken as King freaks out. Orton holds up the strap and the fans give him huge heat. People are trying to get in to Batista as Orton and Legacy leave the ring. Orton takes the title belt and puts it over his shoulder as Batista wallows in the ring and screams his head off. At the top of the ramp Orton looks lovingly at the belt.
Batista out back with trainers. They’re holding his arm and walking him to and ambulance. He said it’s broken and he can’t feel it. They strap him to the stretcher before even immobilizing his arm! King goes on and on about the ‘heinous act’ that Orton perpetrated on Batista. Batista kept asking for his title belt. They close the door and the ambulance leaves. Video of the attack on Batista. King talks about how Batista’s arm snapped. After the video King and Cole talk about Batista’s broken arm and they will let us know more when they know.
Kofi out to the ring with his new US Title belt. Video of Kofi when he faced MVP last week. Regal comes out with mic in hand. He says in these trying times the last thing we need is a Jamaican as our US Champion. We need someone with class and dignity, something Kofi doesn’t have. We need him as our savior. Regal gets in the ring.
Regal starts off in that vicious way he has. Kofi got the upper hand but Regal punches him in the gut as he flies. Regal really works over Kofi. Regal does a flipping back splash on Kofi! Kofi is whipped and gets his foot up. Kofi comes out fighting. An upper cut and then a dropkick from Kofi. Kofi’s standing double leg drop for two. Regal gain the upper hand quickly and covers for two. Trouble in paradise from Kofi for three.
- Winner: Kofi
Kofi poses with his belt in a corner.
Out back Cody says Batista’s gone and there’s no way he’s coming back. Josh comes in and has questions. Orton says Batista in done and out. He has a rematch clause. He’s using it tonight. Either Batista comes back or he wins by forfeit. Josh starts to question but Orton tells him to talk to Vicki. Orton says one way or another tonight he will be Champion.
Kelly comes out in blue for a Championship Match. Maryse comes out in silver to face her. Mickie comes bouncing out in a really ugly asymmetrical grey dress that hangs on her like a sack. She goes to announce.
Maryse slams Kelly down. They lock up and both are down low in the mat in the tie up. Forearms to Maryse’s face. Double clothesline and both are briefly down. Mickie talks about how Maryse sprayed her I the eyes so she wouldn’t have to face her. King gets the title name wrong and Mickie corrects him. Maryse gets a couple of pins on Kelly for two. Kelly manages to roll Maryse up briefly. Kelly up on a corner flies in across body for two. Head scissors take Maryse down for two. Kelly back up in a corner but Maryse grabs her ankle and swings her down, even though Kelly did most of that work. Maryse got the upper hand and the three.
- Winner: Maryse
Mickie to her feet and claps for the match. Maryse gets down in Kelly’s face and taunts her. A couple of slaps to Kelly and Mickie gets in the ring. Maryse backs off and leaves the ring watching Mickie closely.
King and Cole talk about the Hog Pen Match last night. King says he has flu like symptoms, but didn’t shake hands with the hog (Vicki). Video from the match. Chavo was sent in with the pigs after it was made into a Handicap Match. Chavo threw slop on Vicki. Santina took Chavo out and pinned Vicki for the win.
Josh out back with Vicki. She looks pissed. Josh says Orton’s invoking his rematch clause. She says he’s entitled to it and it will be tonight. If she knows Batista, he’ll be back. The ref will ring the bell and if Batista’s not here the ref will count to ten and Batista will lose via forfeit. She’s done talking about it. She has an announcement that will change the face of RAW forever.
Maryse standing there and Miz comes up. He says Mickie isn’t there. She says she’s not worried about Mickie. Miz says she gets the same look Cena gets when Miz is around. She talks French. He says she’s hot when she speaks French. She says she’s always hot. She tells him that she’s never seen him beat Cena and until he does, they’re nothing. He tells her to watch him in the ring tonight. He’s the Miz and he’s awesome.
Santino to the ring. Goldust comes out. Hornswoggle is leading Festus to the ring. Festus has on a white feather boa and one of Horney’s hats!
WWE Rewind – Hornswoggle and Goldust beat Kendrick and Noble on Superstars.
Kendrick, Noble and Chavo are in the ring to face them.
The bell rings and takes apart the other team. Festus slams down on Kendrick. Santino gets the tag and comes in but is knocked down. Goldust tags in and works on Kendrick. Noble distracts and Goldust takes him out, but Kendrick gains the upper hand and tags out. Chavo in and works over Goldust. The ref gets distracted and Kendrick gets involved briefly. Noble tags in an drops knees on Goldust’s head. Noble gets a headlock on Goldust. Noble hits a low dropkick on Festus’ legs knocking him from the apron. Goldust hit an inverted atomic drop on Noble. Santino tags in and works him over. Santino pins but Kendrick breaks it up. Festus is out in front of announce beating on Chavo. Kendrick puts Horney in the ring. Noble yells at Horney. Horney flies out onto Kendrick and Santino covers Noble for three.
- Winners – Santino, Festus & Goldust
They celebrate the win outside the ring while Noble tries to figure out what happened.
Cena out back heading for the ring.
Miz to the ring cuts of Lilian’s announcing. She then announces him when he gets there. He takes Lilian’s mic and gets huge heat. He asks if the fans can feel it. He tells them to take it all in. Tonight he goes one on one with Cena. People say he’s all talk. But he comes out week after week and no Cena. “Cena” chants. People think it’s bogus that he’s 6-0 over Cena. Well the fans are all bogus making excuses for Cena. Cena has no excuses tonight. The only thing keeping him from 7-0 is the most overrated athlete in WWE. The hero to teenage girls and pre-pubescent boys, 20-30 year old who still live with their parents. He’s not Tim Allen, but it is Tool Time. Lilian announces Cena and he comes out laughing. Cena talks smack and points at Miz while off mic. Big Show’s music and out he comes looking pissed. Cena watches both Miz and Big Show closely. Big Show stands on the apron.
Miz rushes Cena but Cena takes him down and he rolls from the ring. Big Show in and Cena gets him up for the AA, but an elbow and Cena drops him. Chokeslam to Cena. Big Show over Cena and he locks on the camel clutch back breaker. Cena turns purple. Cena goes limp. King says Cena’s out. Miz is in and beats the hell out of Big Show with a chair. Three shots to the back of Big Show and he lets go of Cena. Miz keeps hitting Big Show and then he hits Cena across the back. Miz flees with Big Show gets to his feet. Big Show to the apron yelling at Miz. Miz talks smack back, but holds that chair tightly. Miz backs up the ramp and then holds the chair high. Video of Miz hitting Cena with the chair.
Cole and King talk about how shocking the show has been. They talk about Cena, Big Show and Miz. They go on to talk about what happened to Batista. Video of Batista starting the show and threatening Orton. Then Orton came out and the beat down ensued. They ‘destroyed’ Batista’s arm.
MVP to the ring. He says he doesn’t know what’s going on with the WWE Title, but he needs to be in a Championship Match next week. He’s going to prove that by beating Matt Hardy right now. Matt comes out to face him with that hand still casted.
They lock up but MVP gets the upper hand. Matt is slammed ot the mat face first for two. MVP sits up top and Matt rips him off to pin for two. Matt stomps and kicks MVP on the mat. Matt chokes MVP in the ropes. Matt pins for one. Front facelock on MVP. Matt complains about the pain in his hand very loudly. MVP fights his way up and out of the hold. Belly to belly to Matt. Matt throws blows that MVP ducks. MVP hits the blows he throws. MVP slams Matt down and goes ballin’ MVP pins for two. Matt is whipped but moves. Matt takes MVP down hard for two. Matt goes for punches on MVP in a corner, with the cast. MVP goes after the casted hand and the hits the play maker for three.
- Winner: MVP
MVP celebrates in the ring.
Vicki is walking along out back, heading for the ring.
King and Cole talk about Extreme Rules and the titles that changed hands. They talk about the Ladder Match and how brutal it was. Edge was trapped and Jeff won. Then CM Punk came down and cashed in his MITB and won.
Lilian announces Vicki who comes out to huge heat. King keeps snorting and squealing like a pig. ‘Excuse me!’ Vicki says she knows a lot are upset that she granted Orton his rematch for tonight. She’s going to be honest, the last thing on her mind is making any of the fans happy! Last night she was in a Hog Pen Match. She was covered from head to toe in slop and mud. She’s never been so humiliated and insulted in her life. She was looking to the fans to find compassion and sympathy, but everyone was laughing at her. Everyone was taking pictures and talking about the little piggy lady. She yells that she’s so ashamed of them. Where’s there decency and respect? She says she’s had it. You think it’s okay Batista can compete in the condition he’s in and Orton shouldn’t be rewarded for his actions? She says good! She’s tired of them all laughing at her and making fun of her week after week. She’s come to a decision. She’s resigning as GM of RAW. She screams, “I quit!” Edge’s music and he comes out limping. He gets to the stairs and looks at them before carefully climbing them and getting in the ring. Edge says last night he said some things in the heat of the moment that were disrespectful and he shouldn’t have said. He wanted to come out and make things right, apologize. She said she knew he didn’t mean them. He said but then she quit. That means he doesn’t need to apologize or continue with the marriage. She doesn’t understand. He says he married her for her power. He wants to be Champion at any cost. She doesn’t have the power, so she’s worthless. She says he doesn’t mean those things. He says he doesn’t mean them because he loves her? When they went out in public people thought she was his mother. He’s tall, blond, good looking. People really thought he could be in love with a she-beast? She’s going to cry for sympathy? He should have sympathy. Every time he kissed her, he had to rush to the bathroom to dry heave. The only saving grace is that they never consummated the marriage. She whimpered at him. He said it’s fitting that her days in the WWE are over as so is their marriage. He tells her he wants a divorce. She falls to her knees screaming as he leaves the ring. The fans sing “na na na goodbye” to Vicki as she freaks in the ring.
Video of Big Show choking out Cena. Miz hit Big Show in the back with a chair and then attacked Cena with the chair.
Josh with Cena out back. He asks Cena’s condition. Cena says he’s been worse, but he can’t remember when. You find out when you’re back’s against the wall. He beat Big Show and he thought it was over. They need to settle it. Then there’s Miz who gets drafted to RAW and is reaching for the brass ring. He’s picking a fight with the toughest guy in the bar and trying to make a name for himself. Part of Cena respects that. But every time there’s someone bigger to take Cena out. Sometime soon it will just be the two of them and they’ll see what happens.
Legacy to the ring for a Tag Team Match. Primo and Carlito comes out to face them.
Cody has a headlock on Primo. Primo punches out but gets a kick to the gut. Enziguri to Cody. Carlito tags in and takes it to Cody. Dropkick to Cody for two. Punches to Carlito but Cody telegraphs and gets kicked. Ted gets a cheap shot and Cody takes Carlito down for two. Ted tags in and stomps Carlito while Cody holds him. Ted drops elbows on Carlito. Ted covers for two. Chinlock on Carlito. Carlito works to his feet and out. Ted counters a hip toss and then kicks Carlito in the head. Cody tags in. Primo argues with the ref and Legacy double teams Carlito. Cody stomps Carlito for two. Cody kicks Carlito in the head and tags in Ted. Russian leg sweep to Carlito, Primo breaks the count. Ted slams his legs down on Carlito’s back and drops elbows on Carlito for two. Carlito starts to fight back but doesn’t get far. Cody tags in and they both work him over. Cody stomps down on Carlito. Ted tags in and again they both work him over. Ted chokes Carlito with his foot under the ropes. Carlito slammed face first in the heel corner. Cody tags in and gets a chinlock on Carlito. Carlito works his way up and slams Cody over. Primo gets the hot tag and takes down Ted who tags in also. Primo runs up a corner and hits a crossbody on Ted for two. Cody distracts from outside and Ted rolls Primo up for two. Cody and Ted get into outside. Cody gets the upper hand and the cheap attack on Primo. Ted takes Primo down and pins for three.
- Winners: Legacy
Orton is out back heading for the ring.
Orton is slowly walking to the ring with Batista’s strap over his shoulder. He says first things first. Ted and Cody just beat the Colons, so they’re contenders for the Unified Championships. He hopes Batista doesn’t use what happened earlier as an excuse not to show up tonight. Orton shows video of what happened for those who might have missed it. Orton reminds us that Vicki said, before resigning, that he’s entitled to the rematch tonight. If Batista doesn’t show up for a count of ten Orton will win by forfeit. Lilian announce Orton as the former WWE Champion invoking his rematch clause. She then announces Batista as Champion. He doesn’t get music. “Batista” chants. Then Batista’s music starts and… No Dave. Orton demands the ref count to ten now. “Batista” chants. The ambulance is shown out back. The ref stops the count due to the ambulance backing in. Huge “Batista” chants. Then HHH is on the screen and Legacy quickly leave the ring. They come back in with chairs. HHH has come out of the ambulance with his sledge in hand. He’s seething. HHH’s music plays and he comes out. Cody runs up with chair in hand, HHH dispatches him with one blow of the sledge. Ted runs up with his chair and HHH dispatches him as easily. HHH throws off the sledge and rips apart his shirt as he takes it off. HHH into the ring and Orton attacks, but it doesn’t take long before HHH is in control. Orton flees the ring and HHH follows. Orton in the barrier and more, but Orton fights back. Orton grabs a chair but no luck. Orton head first into announce. The shield comes off. Orton head first into announce again. HHH grabs a monitor and goes after Orton, but Orton kicks HHH. HHH drops it. Orton flees through the crowd but HHH goes after him and flies onto him slamming them both to the concrete floor. HHH beats the heck out of Orton against a railing and then dumps him back over the barrier into the ring area. Orton into the ring with his chair. HHH up on the apron and into the ring. Orton rushes him but HHH grabs him and hits a spinebuster before he can use the chair. HHH slams Orton over the head with the chair. HHH continues to beat Orton across the back with the chair. Top of the chair to Orton’s legs and knees. HHH just keeps going as Orton flails around on the ring. HHH lines the top of the chair up on the back of Orton’s neck, but when it comes down it hits his shoulder blade. HHH gets right down into Orton’s face and talks to him. The fans give a “pedigree” chant that was even louder than the last ‘Batista’ chant. (I have never heard a crowd like that!) HHH looks around and everyone quiets. He sets Orton up and hits a pedigree on the chair. HHH stares down at Orton then poses over him.